How one CEO founder used EQ to turn an unsupportive board into allies (in <90 minutes)

There’s so much pressure in our work lives to get it right:

It just doesn’t feel safe to experiment with new ways of being and interacting.

So even when a situation isn’t working, we default to the same coping strategies. They may not be effective, but they feel familiar. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Changing people’s attitudes takes emotional intelligence (EQ): being able to manage our own emotions and influence those of others.

The good news: it doesn’t have to take time — it can happen in one meeting.

Here’s how it played out with one of my founder clients:

“The board meetings are unproductive,” he told me. “Every time, we fall into the same dynamic.”

He wants the board’s help with strategies to accelerate marketing and sales. But they’re finance guys, all they care about is financial performance. They’re not interested in operational details.

So he struggles to keep them focused.

One board member hijacks the conversation. Another is condescending.

And the meetings end with everyone a little bit dissatisfied.

This CEO just wants what most founders want from their board: a constructive, professional discussion, clarity on challenges to be overcome and alignment on direction, objectives and budget.

But his only plan was to do more of what hadn’t worked: Give Q2 operational highlights and the financial report.

“What if you tried something radically different?” I said.

After asking a few questions about the board members, I had a hypothesis:

“My sense is, deep down, they’re insecure. Because when people are condescending, when they don’t listen, when they’re demanding, all of those things come from a place of insecurity. And when you’re insecure, it’s hard to be curious.”

The lightbulb went off for him: “And they don’t want you to know that they feel insecure and incompetent. So they overcompensate.”

Exactly. So I suggested he start the meeting with a “one-two punch:”

Step 1. Acknowledge: Their years of experience, specific expertise, the companies they’ve worked with.

Step 2. Appreciate: “You’ve helped us develop financial discipline, we now have a budget, monthly reports, processes in place. Thank you for your patience through our growing pains. You’ve helped us come to this moment.”

And then, because it was a new approach for him, we rehearsed until he felt confident.

The next day, he sent me a message on Slack:

“It worked! I showed genuine appreciation for their input and we kickstarted the $2M project and they’ll help with bridge financing until our next fundraise. There was no weird dynamic anymore. Thank you!”

Pulling off a radically different way of doing things takes courage and emotional control. But guided role-play and rehearsal can ensure you get it right.

That’s what I offer leaders in The High-EQ Founder program: Dozens of ways to level up their EQ skills in how they communicate and lead, and a “sandbox” where they can experiment and get useful feedback. (You can find out more here ).